I feel sad/mad/hurt/confused and Im putting out my ” idgaf attitude” Ive been thinking about all the hurt ppl have caused me mainly my boyfriend and Im trying to figure out why did/do I stay. After all the tears, yelling, broken windows, and blatant lies what exactly was the deciding factor that made me go okay this is the life I want this is okay. Sure we have good times but I have an obsessive personality meaning once a person has did wrong by me i constantly think about the hurt i felt been though i say the words i forgive you in the back of my mind Im still thinking of the wrong you’ve did every waken moment. To the point where one min Im fine around you and the next Im not even talking to you because the thought of you hurting me have taken over my brain and I’ve shut down. Shit I feel like Im rambling but the hurt is taking over. I’ve completely isolated myself from him and that’s not easy considering the fact that we live together.
(if i made any typos Im on my phone and i honestly don’t care to proof read…)
“I closed my mouth and spoke to you in a hundred silent ways.”
-Rumi
(Source: fuckyeahrumi)
